Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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