I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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