why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
