And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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