Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Ketchup is God's man juice
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
