I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Small penises have feelings too.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
The adults are the big ones right?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
