A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
