Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
