so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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