in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
