She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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