At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
