thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
