just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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