he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
