I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
