I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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