the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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