I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
