dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
