I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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