you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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