Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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