apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
