is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
