even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
