even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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