my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
