I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
