i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
