What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
