you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
It's official drugs can't kill me
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
