I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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