she was so not down for the gang bang
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
