saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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