Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize