He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
