So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
