haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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