my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
