your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
