Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
you never un-have a 4some
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
