I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
