he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
