I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
