how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
