Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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