today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
