whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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