Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Woke up backwards on a recliner
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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