i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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