Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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