Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
is wine microwaveable?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize