dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
