This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
