Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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