your thong is hanging out like whoa
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize