just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I have aggressive nipples.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
