Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
what day is it and did you see me today?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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