it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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