i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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