My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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