sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
