no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize