To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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