Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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