hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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